I have struggled to write a blog about manners this month when the news is full of sad, tragic events and ominous happenings.
Does it really matter where the fork or napkin are placed or if you write a “thank you” note when threats of nuclear war and yet another school shooting are openly discussed?
Does it matter how to properly shake a hand when we may have to say goodbye to neighbors and friends as they are deported to a land they’ve never known, and our children are unsafe in their schools?
In contemplating what I should write this month and trying to shield my young 10-year-old daughter from much of the bad news from around the world, I’ve begun sharing with her 80’s music videos. What can be more vanilla, right?
In doing so, we stumbled upon a Sting video for “I’m an Englishman in New York”, from 1988. I’ve always thought he was a poet. (Go ahead and judge.) but his words gave me hope and refocused me. He is right in so many ways with this song.
My heart melts when my daughter wants to hear the song over and over and sings the lyric “I’m an alien. I’m a legal alien.” at the top of her lungs. Her young mind so quickly memorized the lyrics. The lyrics that most inspire me seem so appropriate for the times. They remind me why courtesy is so important. I believe it is the thread that holds a decent society together. Kindness and thoughtfulness towards others spreads joy not hate. I can share nothing more prophetic than that. So I simply share Sting’s words.
“Englishman In New York” - Sting
I don't drink coffee I take tea my dear
I like my toast done on one side
And you can hear it in my accent when I talk
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
If "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien
I'm an Englishman in New York
Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety
You could end up as the only one
Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society
At night a candle's brighter than the sun
Takes more than combat gear to make a man
Takes more than a license for a gun
Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can
A gentleman will walk but never run
If "Manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say.”