It is all around us. There is change in the air. Whether it’s the final break in the stifling days of summer or the sight and sounds of school buses back on the road in the clogged beltway traffic, change is all around us. Especially, for women, the season is bringing a societal change. In Washington, DC and across the country the change is being heard through the voices of our fellow female citizens.
A lesson of today’s season of change, reminds me of the quote from Shakespeare, “the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players.” Even, the great “Bard of Avalon” recognized the role of women as equal players. The first step in playing our equal part is often speaking up. The female leaders of today have a chance to step out on the stage with dignity, confidence, manners, and grace.
However, it’s also important for women to “go wisely.... Those that rush stumble and fall,” and to heed Shakespeare’s advice in Romeo and Juliet. Madeleine Albright, former US Secretary of State, gave some great advice to young female leaders at a recent conference I attended. She said, “Women have to be active listeners and interrupters – but when you interrupt, you have to know what you are talking about.” She suggested women try these appropriate phrases to interrupt:
“Excuse me, let me add to the point you just made by offering this... “
“I am not sure the suggestion made is possible to do at this point because…”
“I understand your point. It might be helpful to the group if we also consider other viewpoints such as... “
“You are passionate about this and I respect that. Let me offer another idea so that the group can weigh in on both perspectives...”
Remember, there is no reason to begin your interruption with an apology. It undermines women’s credibility.
To listen actively and credibly, you must also exhibit engaged body language by:
Paying attention to the person who is speaking.
Keeping eye contact.
Showing interest by nodding or by smiling at appropriate times.
Repeating what you’ve heard in your own words what you have heard.
Not looking at your phone.
Not leaning away from the speaker.
Not making small talk while others are speaking.
Not looking down.
September has brought many women’s voices to the forefront. These women are reshaping their part in the play of society, with dignity, speaking their truth, offering themselves up to be heard, chosen, elected, judged, seen, and counted. I applaud them and challenge tomorrow’s courageous female leaders to continue to speak out, to be active listeners and to “go wisely” and to be kind. For as Shakespeare said, “Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.”