With the death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I have been struggling with my own sadness about loss and about the loss of two, loved influencers. I am so shocked and confused about their decision to take their lives. I admired them both so much. They sought out and created beauty in fashion and food, but they also wanted to please people, see people, bring happiness, and insight.
What’s instructive about thinking about and talking about death, and about suicide deaths, is that so much of what I might tell myself is probably what I should keep in mind when talking with my clients and kids, too. Here is what I know:
- Keep it simple, factual, and focused - don’t project
- Remember that talking about death is frightening- don’t dwell but real
- Keep an open mind to questions - rich or poor, famous or not, we all have struggles
- Explain mental illness as you would physical illness, without blame or judgment- the brain is an organ and it can get sick
If you need to explain such a loss from suicide to a child or work through a loss in the simplest of terms, just remember. The person who died suffered from an illness called “depression” for many years and died of it. It is okay to be very sad.
Depression is a sickness that lies to a person and makes them believe that the whole world would be better off if they were dead. But that is never true, and people can get help to stop feeling that way.
Please know there are always people who care.
I’ve had a few friends, family members and even strangers pull me out of dark times and keep my spirits up. I am so thankful for the kindness. We all struggle sometimes with despair.
Please call the National Suicide Hotline 1 800 273 8255 if you don’t have anyone or email or text or please call me.