We do not often get uninterrupted time with our kids, our busy teens, or preteens or especially our children who are planning to soon fly off to college. If you are lucky to be off zoom this summer and have a holiday trip planned, then that long car ride, or flight, leisurely bus or train trip is the perfect time to help your young person reboot their manners and social kindness. This occurred to me when we recently took a road trip and stopped at a child’s play area and there was a sign by the handicap door exit that said, “Do Not Kick.” Apparently, children were kicking the door “open” button rather than pressing it. As you can imagine if this was your house you would find it completely unacceptable - even in the age of germaphobia. As you make plans to be back amongst people, after a long year of COVID travel delay consider using this time wisely to brush up with the special young people in your life the seven essentials of public etiquette rules.
1. Saying “Please” and “Thank You”
This is one of the first basic manners to teach your child, but we forget it in a rushed and often virtual world. The importance of saying “please” when asking for something and “thank you” when receiving something cannot be overemphasized. Put this into practice at all times, model this behavior especially when you are out in public, and others are serving and assisting you so it will eventually come naturally for your children to learn and do.
2. Saying “Sorry”
Along with “please” and “thank you,” saying sorry when you have done something wrong is also an important habit to instill in your child. When you bump someone on the train, walk in front of someone in a store, “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” works wonders. Teach your child when and where to say sorry, it is a magic word. Empathy is a skill they have to learn and repeat.
3. Covering One’s Mouth When Sneezing or Coughing
Especially in the era where COVID still lingers, teaching your kids to cover their mouths when they sneeze, or cough is vital. Also, teach them that picking one’s nose in public is considered rude and unpleasant, so too is touching every surface and handle in public areas. These days it is not only a part of good manners, but also essential hygiene.
4. Not Making Fun of People
When you travel you encounter all different types of people. This should be taught very early on, and if it is not, children might be tempted to stare or think it is okay to make fun of people. They should be taught that it is never okay to hurt someone’s feelings by making fun of them, pointing at them, staring, talking loud about their looks or features or bullying them in public or private.
5. Showing Respect to Elders
Young people should be taught to show respect to their parents, grandparents, teachers, and any other adults they encounter. One way of doing this can be by always serving food to the elders, before the kids, or giving up a seat on public transport to an older adult, while your kid is watching. Keeping a door open for an elder traveler, letting an older person check in first or allowing an older person more time to walk in front of you shows them respect they deserve. Kids can learn through these lessons that showing deference to age indicates good manners.
6. Learning and Remembering People’s Names
Using and remembering someone’s name shows that you have tried to recognize and remember them. Whether it is the bellman, your favorite waiter at the pool, the front desk manager, summer is a harried time for those who work in service and simply remembering someone’s name can help make your stay and their day even more enjoyable. Teach your kid to remember a friend’s name or family member’s name by using it often with him or her.
7. Being a Good Guest
Teach your kids to be considerate and polite when visiting their friend’s homes or grandma’s house or that Airbnb you have been waiting to stay in. They should know how to be adaptable to their host’s schedules, not be stubborn or fussy with the food served, clean up after themselves and to respect other people’s property and time. Kids should also be taught to greet and thank their hosts and to always respect the property of the hotel or home they are visiting.
Travel is amazing for the soul. Family time that focuses on leisure, fun, sun, and long hours just doing nothing are an amazing gift. So too are lessons from mom and dad as to what is really important in life. Use this summer to offer your kids the gift of a manners reboot. If they are experts on these seven lessons by summer’s end, they will be light years ahead of their peers when Autumn comes and better people for it.